


Talk To Me

by GalaxyGazing



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Crying, Emetophobia, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGazing/pseuds/GalaxyGazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hotel entryway was too small for conversations this big.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk To Me

 

“Okay let’s just…talk about this,” Arin says gently.

Dan exits the hotel bathroom to find him sitting in the narrow entryway of the room, back against the wall. Arin means for Dan to sit next to him which, reluctantly, he does. The space is so compact that if Dan’s legs were outstretched they would probably touch the other side. Instead, he sits with his knees bent upward, feeling dangerously vulnerable.

Arin can smell the mint on Dan’s breath from the mouthwash and Dan is acutely aware that his eyes and nose are still red. They’re quiet for a moment. Whatever this was, it needed to be approached delicately.

It’s the last day of the con any maybe it was the sheer exhaustion of it that finally pushed Dan to move. After a full year of denying and another of accepting, Dan had finally come to terms with the fact that he was in love with his cohost. Knowing he’d never do anything about it, he decided it was an unfortunate situation that he would just have to deal with. However, it got harder by the day when Arin would flirt with him and Dan would inevitably falter their comical banter. He couldn’t have it affecting their work.

Tonight, Arin came back to Dan’s hotel room after dinner. Dan had been rooming with Barry for the trip and Arin was naturally rooming with Suzy, but each of their roommates had serendipitously wanted to explore the town a bit more in the evening. Arin and Dan were both too tired to join them, Dan a little more so than usual, visibly enough for Arin to ask him what was wrong. When Dan started to tell him, that’s when it all fell apart.

Dan began speaking before he’d formulated what he wanted to say, really _say_ to Arin, then immediately realized he shouldn’t say anything at all. He got as far as, “You know how when…I mean, we just…” but it was the shaky exhale that ultimately caught Arin’s attention. Arin’s expression fell a bit, “Dan?”

Instant panic. The sheer magnitude of what this conversation would mean was dizzying. After all these years, after everything he’d gone through, everything he’d overcome, and everything he’d worked for, he was finally, actually _happy._ Grumps had done so much for him and there was a chance that Arin would want him to leave the show after this. That alone was heart-stopping and it was definitely not worth ruining his life because he wanted Arin in ways he shouldn’t.

“I can’t tell you, man.”

The look on Arin’s faced was equal parts confused and concerned. From mental health to philosophies to sex, there was nothing they hadn’t been able to tell each other on or off the show. There wasn’t any reason to start censoring themselves now.

“Why?” was all Arin asked.

“Because it’s—” Dan took a deep breath then, hesitantly, told Arin what he believed, “you’re gonna fuckin’ hate me.”

If Arin got mad about this, he had every right. It would make their dynamic awkward and, by extension, the show, which was their livelihood. Dan wasn’t about to be generously invited into everything Arin had spent years building only to tear it down. Then, there was Suzy. Dan felt selfish. He was disappointed in himself for his lack of control over the whole thing. The only thing he _could_ control was how much he let Arin know.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Arin said, standing up from where he sat on the bed and coming over to stand before him, “What is it, man?”

Dan couldn’t look at him. He focused hard on the carpet but that didn’t stop the room from spinning, “Please, can we drop it?”

“I don’t think so,” Arin said quietly and so, so tenderly that it made Dan well up. One tear fell, then a second, then, unceremoniously, the entire world fell.

“Oh, God, I’m gonna be sick,” Dan mumbled before sidestepping Arin, lunging for the bathroom, and slamming door behind him. Miserably, he retched for half an hour. During this time he desperately wished to hear Arin opening the door to exit the room, but the silence indicated that he stayed.

So now, here they were: all mint and misery in a tiny entryway.

Dan folds his arms over his knees and stares unseeingly ahead to avoid looking at Arin beside him. He supposes now it is unavoidable;  he owes him an explanation for what exactly was worth getting ill over, but he is so drained by the whole thing that no words come and he can’t even pretend that he wants them to. Arin can see him trembling and knows he’ll have to be the first to speak.

“I get that this is big,” Arin says, delicately. When Dan still can’t manage anything Arin tries softly, “Why do you think I’ll hate you?”

Dan purses his lips thin and shakes his head slowly. Talking had gotten him into this mess, he wasn’t about to start that again. Arin gives him a long while to respond but when it becomes apparent that he isn’t going to get anything he decides to try a different approach.

“Are you back on drugs?”

“No,” Dan answers truthfully.

Another pause.

“Did you sleep with Suzy?”

“No! Arin—I’m not sleeping with Suzy.“ At last, Dan looks over to see Arin’s expression only to find it is alarmingly even.

“Are you leaving the show?”

“No, I’m…Of course I don’t want to leave the show. It’s the best fucking thing that’s—“ 

There’s no need to finish. They both know.

More silence happens before Arin eventually leans his head back against the wallpaper to stare at the ugly popcorn ceiling, “Well, let me put your mind at ease: those are the only three things that would really concern me. I mean it. Anything else you could tell me, I promise you I won’t flip out over it.”

“You can’t say that like you’re so sure.”

“I can. You’re my best friend, Dan. You can tell me. And we kinda… _have_ to move past this now, you know? Now that I know something’s bothering you.”

The carpet is an awful pattern. It’s awful, the room is too small for Dan’s long limbs, and everything feels uncomfortable. Despite this, his best friend is next to him, concerned, patient, wondering how he could help. Arin is ridiculous sometimes but he is also caring and compassionate and Dan supposes that is probably why he’s in this situation in the first place. Sooner or later, Arin Hanson always made him open up more than he ever thought he could.

“I, uh,” Dan swallows through the dryness in this throat and there's no going back, “I’m in love with you.”

A quick pause. Dan waits for the sky to fall down and for Arin to tell him what he already knows. Thankfully, the silence is filled in a timely manner, before Dan could panic again.

“Yeah?” Arin replies neutrally.

“That’s all you have to say about it?” Dan’s chest is tight. This needed a finite conclusion. He looks over at Arin to try and read him.

“Well, look…” Arin thinks for a short moment, “Hell, I don’t know if this is the right thing to do or not, but I want to so, yeah… c’mere……c’mere…”

Arin’s words fade to air and then to only mouth movements by the end of the sentence as he closes the space between their lips. Dan’s mind is racing and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Arin sucks in air through his nose in a long hiss when their lips are pressed and the sound of their kiss breaking is loud in Dan’s ears.

Arin leaves the wall to situate himself in front of Dan, who is still leaning against it. The limited entryway doesn’t allow much shuffling but they make it work and Arin runs a thumb down Dan’s jaw, “Just open—yeah,” Arin confirms when Dan opens his mouth before he can finish his instruction. They tilt left the second time around and neither of them care that they’re being unnecessarily audible. The whole ordeal tastes like mouthwash and it’s sloppy but it’s also wonderful and more than Dan could have asked for.

Finally, Dan remembers his hands and moves them to Arin’s waist. The moment lasts until they break from natural breathlessness, sharing each other’s air, foreheads pressed. Time passes slowly, Dan’s eyes are lidded and everything is too hot, in a good way.

“You okay?” Arin asks quietly and Dan realizes Arin’s hands are still cupped to his face. And despite everything that just happened, Dan honestly nods.

“Where...Where does this leave us?” Dan asks, but there’s a loud knock at the door from Suzy and Barry and Arin can’t answer him.

 

 

\--  
The End

 


End file.
